If I told you this was only gonna hurt
If I warned you that the fire’s gonna burn
Would you walk in? Would you let me do it first?
Do it all in the name of love
Would you let me lead you even when you’re blind?
In the darkness, in the middle of the night
In the silence , when there’s no one by your side
Would you call in the name of love?
If I told you we could bathe in all the lights
Would you rise up, come and meet me in the sky?
WOULD YOU TRUST ME WHEN YOU’RE JUMPING FROM THE HEIGHTS?
WOULD YOU FALL IN THE NAME OF LOVE?
When there’s madness ,when there’s poison in your head
When the sadness leaves you broken in your bed
I will hold you in the depths of your despair
And it’s all in the name of love….
Every single learning of my life has been possible because of
you even
though having a younger sister is equivalent
to suiciding everyday.
How I define my sister …..Very greatly goes like this ….
Yes you are a jerk, bit of nuts in your own mind ,arrogant
sometimes, buffoon, bully (yah in my case), truthful, outspoken, pompous
,incompetent ,idiot, boisterous, showoff (typical one), confident, cunning,
brash, comical, clown, blowhard, bombastic entertainer, ridiculous, mouthy,
selfish, obnoxious, blunt, crazy UNQUALIFIED dumbass.
But this is the day, so I have to confess that…ummm. (I know its
bit kind of spooky for me to tell you things which are kind of emotional, and
that too when you don’t belong to that genre.
Still bear with me…
There are some people in the world whom you just want to
love, and love, and keep on loving till the end of the world no matter what..
Even if they disgust, blabber shit, sometimes irritate you.( or always do so ).
It was your birth day when I realized that I was going to have
someone special with me for the rest of my life ( actually someone to play with),
though I was very young at that time, I still can’t forget that size of yours,
small tiny creature you were with hands wobbling all around your cute face,
your red cheeks with a bubbly sunken smile, twinkling fairy like eyes, your
teddy bear like hair, and obviously you were wrapped in that cream color
blanket.
Everyone were surrounding you like, something auspicious
happened on that day and I was there just gaming with a thought that why were
you prettier than me? Nonetheless you grew up in front of my eyes ,slowly
slowly like a small plant .I used to observe every inch of your feet, that how
it grew into one inch larger ,days moved, nights sunk in, a baby to a toddler
to a child and then a teenager, adulthood is yet to come.
Your first day at school, began with endless cries and sobbing
for the 1st 2 hours, I remember
The day of raksha bandhan when we both tied Rakhis to each
other’s hands because we dont have any brother in our family, I remember
Our little fights which made me angry and made you cry, I
remember
Our shocking moments seeing the red marks at our report cards, I
remember
Thoughts of her sharing of half piece of roti with me, her
hiding of our secrets from everybody, skidding to my side even after knowing
the consequences, not eating when I am not eating, telling lies for me, not
going out without me, not opening the packet of chips without me, new dress
brought for her and worn by me, sharing things in her own way (a small toffee
too), me doing everything that made me happy and her, tired..her handling my
mood swings that included throwing things with much force, shouting like hell,
criticizing, yelling at the top of my voice, shutting door in front of her face,
..her fighting with friends ,relatives for me …giving my interests first
priority, making my mood work, managing my time table, scolding me for being
such an ass, telling me that I am the most beautiful girl alive, helping in
building my self confidence, me scolding her for not doing my work, insulting
her in front of family, friends , not preferring her choices, making her do the
things the way I want…….I remember, I remember all.
Yes I am realizing how bad I am, but want you to forgive me as
always.
Day by day, you made me feel as if you were the elder one and I
was the younger one with our roles exchanged somehow. The elder one always
makes you confident about everything, stuffs guts in your brains, and that’s
what you did to me, rather than me doing it to you.
There came some particular moments when time came to me as a
gushing stream, but you made that flood stop! Putting barriers all around me?
You were there to protect me from all sides, a savior, a
blessing, for which I was destined.
There was a time when I felt that I was left with my own shadow,
which was following me to the weirdest of places, own soul was pounding at me,
I thought of my voice being unheard .I wanted to stand straight but couldn’t as
if my legs had no life left, I wanted to sleep but cried endlessly, without
looking at my face I could assume that how terrible I was looking. This went on
until the day I decided to back off, to Quit.
She then holding my hand made me understand and told me that
‘’the situation where you’re standing right now, compels you to quit , just
quit the goddamn situation in which you’re trapped.’’
She made me stand in front of her and said ‘’don’t you cry for a
stupid past that didn’t have future. Cry, if you actually realized where you
went wrong, and gain from the experience.’’
No one, but you made me realize my worth, and your worth too..
Thank you for being there always, when I needed you. I didn’t
need to convey my feelings ever to you, you took my problems as they were your
problems and tried to figure out solutions to every one of them,
Cheers to your upcoming future, filled with joy, precious
moments, gifts from life, more wealth and health
Cheers to your growing age, puberty, mood swings, epitome
beauty, empowering attitude, beautiful dreams, long desires
Cheers to us, for the joyous moments we’ve lived and the
upcoming moments which are still yet to come.
Cheers to life, Cheers to your 13th birthday.
No comments:
Post a Comment